If It Hurts It Isn't Love | Holly Trimnell

Please read Holly's story of personal growth, self-love and resilience as she leaves unhealthy relationships and creates a healthy relationship with herself.

Holly Trimnell shares her story of self-discovery and self-love with Journals of Discovery


I am the woman least likely to end up a suburban minivan mom. Yet here I am. 


My path to this place was not an easy one. My struggles with depression and addiction began in my teen years and lasted well into adulthood. I was 27 when I got sober, and I thought my problems would end there. But they didn’t.


Growing up with an emotionally abusive father I didn’t know what a healthy relationship looked like. At 19 I moved in with my boyfriend at the time. AFTER an assault resulting in 23 stitches around my eye.


He was the worst, but not the end of my abusive relationships. I found myself in yet another one as I was getting my life back together. I endured 6 long years of verbal and emotional abuse, giving as much as I took.


The death of a close friend shifted something inside of me. My fear of being alone was replaced by the determination to be unapologetically ME and the knowledge that the relationship I was in would never get better.


I moved fast. I began art therapy. I moved out within a matter of weeks. And, over the next 18 months learned to truly love myself.


The man who would become my husband was different. He treated me with love and kindness from the moment we started dating and every moment since. Our love has always been mutual, not one sided. Today we have a wonderful home with two kids. He is my rock, and I am his. He is not just a wonderful partner but an incredible dad as well.


If you are in an abusive relationship know that it is NOT YOU. Shame and embarrassment holds us back from reaching out to the people who can help. But I found no judgement when I did. Instead I found the help and support I needed.


If it hurts it isn’t love.

~ Holly Trimnell


If you, or someone you know, is in an abusive relationship please seek help. A few resources you could use are: 

Shelter Safe

Family Violence Resources in Canada


How To Get Help | Global News